1. 13/52 "Test Drive"
A Portrait of My Child Once a Week Every Week in 2014
    High Res

    13/52 "Test Drive"

    A Portrait of My Child Once a Week Every Week in 2014

  2. A Lil Update on the Situation….

    Britney;

    Beautiful, strong, intelligent, cute, hilarious and kind. She’s growing up so fast and every single day she is resembling more of a toddler than of a baby. We are going to be starting potty training real soon, I am actually planning it for next week so any suggestions this early on would be greatly appreciated! B and I are getting so close, she adores me as I adore her. She is constantly attached to me (aside from creche) and understands me so well. Its a lil hard to explain but she’s perfect and I often thank my stars for this little girl that I have been blessed with. There is no hassle putting her to bed, she never wakes in the night and sleeps in her cot. She eats so well and is down to one bottle a day. She communicates well nd plays so nicely too, most of the time independently. Its a bitter sweet feeling watching her growing up but I am definitely so proud of her. P.S- she has adjusted really well to our new life.

    Wezley;

    I know where I stand with him and I know exactly how to treat him now. I know I cannot talk to him about “stuff” or rely on him for anything. We cannot be friends (we never have been) We speak purely about B and nothing else. He visists her for an hour every Tuesday and Thursday and she spends every second weekend by him while he pays me a measly maintenance. Its a common ground agreement which I am content with. I have no interest in his personal life, my interest lies with B and the fact that she needs a father in her life as I grew up without one and that is definitely not what I want for her.

    Me

    I am content. I battle with negative thoughts more often than I would like to but I have accepted that that is normal, I need to work on it and one day I will get there. I know now what I want out of my life and how I am going to achieve it. I will achieve it! I am going on a date this Friday night… yep… Its been 9+ weeks since I have moved out and I feel that there is no harm in a lil enjoyment. I am not looking for anything serious and should it become something its going to happen at a snail pace. I am really excited though and looking forward to it. 

    Falling down is life, getting up is living.

    xx

  3. Gorgeous

  4. A Few Pics from the Weekend

    this weekend we

    • wore a pony tail haha
    • I worked on my Public Holiday and B joined. Thats her standing by my desk
    • We done some Window Shopping
    • Ate Sweets
    • Rocket Launched
    • Played in a ball pool all morning
    • Visited family
    • Watched toons with Milo on mommy’s lap!
  5. Yes!
    High Res

    Yes!

  6. I Love this little soul…. I feel Love for her that I never thought possible. 

    I came accross a Motivational Quote the other day. It goes “I”M GOING TO MAKE THE REST OF MY LIFE, THE BEST OF MY LIFE” I set that as my cellphone’s wallpaper because THAT is my motto from now on… love. 

    I have set some plans in motion in order to live the best life I can and from April that is all I will be thinking about- reaching my goals. By July I want to be buying my first car and by September I want to be looking at a place to rent of my own and by March 2015 I want to be applying for a bond… Yep… and let me add that I plan on doing this all on my own and owing it all by myself… thats not to say that I wont have someone to celebrate it with and perhaps enjoy it with by then, just not share (ownership of) it with… 

    I am glad to say that I am excited for the future and I am so excited to share it with my daughter, my motivation through all of this!

    xx

  7. 12/52 "Lollipop"
A Portrait of My Child Once A Week Every Week in 2014
    High Res

    12/52 "Lollipop"

    A Portrait of My Child Once A Week Every Week in 2014

  8. I have become this person that I despise. I dont know who I am anymore and when I think back on all the things I have done, the horrible things I have done in my life I am completely disgusted and filled with self hate…

I feel as though I am a complete failure in life. Hi, I am Megan, a single 21 year old mother who is back at her grandparents who’s address I am far too ashamed to even speak of. I have this rep of moving on with guys real quick and have a string of serious relationships behind my name, most of which have ended quite harsh. I dont have a car or even a learners, all I have is a baby and everything she needs and wants. Yep, great introductory to myself.
I have so little patience, I feel as though I am losing my bond with my daughter because I am in this funky dwell constantly scrutinizing my horrid life and constantly hating myself that I have little patience for tantrums or whines… Britney senses this and I am just so miserable in thoughts that I am pushing her away and completely failing as a parent to her. I need to pick myself up and be strong for her yet the more I tell myself that the more I fall knowing that I am just failing…. URGE!!!!
I despise her father…. If you can even call him that… “father”… cant even label him a “man”… Yet hating on him isnt going to help my situation… but does he have to be such a douche? There’s so much I have to vent about on him but as mentioned, its just not going to help my situation!!
I hate that I cry myself to sleep almost every night, I hate that as down as I am I still have people kicking me, I hate that I feel so alone and burdened and I hate that as soon as I start trying to move up I am hit with another heavy obstacle that just weighs me back down again.
I am trying… real hard. I need to be able to look in the mirror and love the reflection again…
    High Res

    I have become this person that I despise. I dont know who I am anymore and when I think back on all the things I have done, the horrible things I have done in my life I am completely disgusted and filled with self hate…

    I feel as though I am a complete failure in life. Hi, I am Megan, a single 21 year old mother who is back at her grandparents who’s address I am far too ashamed to even speak of. I have this rep of moving on with guys real quick and have a string of serious relationships behind my name, most of which have ended quite harsh. I dont have a car or even a learners, all I have is a baby and everything she needs and wants. Yep, great introductory to myself.

    I have so little patience, I feel as though I am losing my bond with my daughter because I am in this funky dwell constantly scrutinizing my horrid life and constantly hating myself that I have little patience for tantrums or whines… Britney senses this and I am just so miserable in thoughts that I am pushing her away and completely failing as a parent to her. I need to pick myself up and be strong for her yet the more I tell myself that the more I fall knowing that I am just failing…. URGE!!!!

    I despise her father…. If you can even call him that… “father”… cant even label him a “man”… Yet hating on him isnt going to help my situation… but does he have to be such a douche? There’s so much I have to vent about on him but as mentioned, its just not going to help my situation!!

    I hate that I cry myself to sleep almost every night, I hate that as down as I am I still have people kicking me, I hate that I feel so alone and burdened and I hate that as soon as I start trying to move up I am hit with another heavy obstacle that just weighs me back down again.

    I am trying… real hard. I need to be able to look in the mirror and love the reflection again…

  9. A Few Pics from the Weekend.

    This weekend;

    • I had a Brazilian Carnival Themed work function
    • I fit into my sized 30 high wasted skinnies and rocked them!!!
    • My Poor baby started teething and a terrible cold!!!
  10. Best! hahaha laughing for days!!!
    High Res

    Best! hahaha laughing for days!!!